You Unlock This Door With The Key Of Your Imagination (MagMax, Major League Baseball)

It's always weird to have to do article math on this blog. We did a one-game article last time, and today we have a two-game article. The juggling is needed in order to keep thematic semblance... so since there are a couple of three-game sets that work well thematically coming up, plus one big game that deserves its own bonkers entry, we have to do math. So a two-game this time, then two threes, a two, another three, and then one. This is the science of Nintendo Project, my lovelies. The smart ones among you might know what's coming if you find the same list that I use. We already took out a big chunk a while ago thanks to friends. Let's get on with it.

MagMax is a strange case of a game that deserves a look beyond the base code itself. You see, I had an expectation of what it would be. I had vague memories of an unauthorized Nintendo guide book that featured MagMax in it, and I was prepared for a Bomberman clone. As it turns out, I had mixed the game up for some other one that was a Bomberman clone. MagMax is actually a horizontal shmup. I played it. I had thoughts on it, but before that I want to talk about the cover art for the game. We've probably dabbled in cover art talk before, but good god. MagMax's cover art is awesome. Lightsaber wielding robot in space blasting a robotic hydra. I can confirm that this sort of happens in-game, although it looks less impressive. I won't fault it for that. We also have just about my two favorite words ever in a bright yellow bubble: ARCADE CLASSIC. I don't have to go through the whole Dread Beast GREED shtick again because MagMax doesn't really... feel like an arcade game. It just feels like an innovative but kind of flawed shmup. The central gimmick is that you power up by equipping robot parts to your ship, thus making you a giant robot that fires lots of lasers. That sounds cool on paper, but look at the screenshot again. The robot is a huge target, and you have these swooping little critters firing bunches of bullets that you have to weave around to avoid. You can't do that when you're a giant robot sprite that takes up an eighth of the vertical space of the screen! You're going to get nicked in the foot or head and lose part of your robot body! The game's also sneaky and sort of loops until you power up your robot body enough and land on a platform to warp to the next area. It's decent at best. No continues, though. Shit, even in the arcade we could do that for money. Unless there's one of those secret Japanese continue codes. Let me check.

Okay, there isn't. Next, please.

Major League Baseball, by LJN for the NES. Can... can I go back to MagMax? Please? All you need to know about this game is that I had the same experience with it that I've had with every other Nintendo baseball game so far, and will probably have with the 45 others remaining. Batting is fun enough and I got onto some bases, but then I went into the outfield and it's garbage because I'm not a machine and controlling little ants as they slooowly run towards a ball while the computer just racks up points is not fucking fun at all. So let's talk about other things. I went to Wikipedia to look at the box art of this game, and it looks okay. There's also this:

"It is notable for being one of the first video games licensed by Major League Baseball, although it was not endorsed by the Major League Baseball Players Association. Without the backing of the player's association, the game could not name the actual players, although it was able to use their numbers, thus accurately portraying the contemporary teams and their rosters. In doing so, it became the first baseball game for the Nintendo Entertainment System to carry official Major League Baseball licensing and lineups."

Oh yes. Licensing fun facts. All it amounts to for me is a bunch of numbers that I don't know. I'm just not part of the target audience for this. My brother-in-law likes baseball. Then again he likes watching every sport. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Basketball... Cup... you name it. This isn't working. Let's talk about other things. Like the box art of this game and MagMax. I had a thought a while back about my childhood compared to the childhood of a kid today, and there's one thing that those kids won't know; anticipation. We used to borrow games from each other all the time. Hell, this is how I played Mega Man 2 in 1995. I lent someone my Game Boy for that shit and it was kind of worth it. The thing is, nowadays the kids don't need to anticipate what a game is like. If Billy borrows Jimmy's copy of Call of Duty, Billy can just go onto Youtube during recess or lunch time and see how the game looks. Not so for me in 1995. When someone lent me a game at 9 AM, I had to wait until 3 PM to get a look at it. Until then, all I could do was wistfully gaze at the cover art. Imagining and anticipating the wonders within. I know I did this for at least one game (Ninja Turtles 3, if you care.) in my youth. Major League Baseball, if I cared about it, would have that effect on me. So would MagMax. That's part of the alchemy of the grey box, really. It's bigger on the inside because your imagination is fueling the damn thing. Flick those youthful thoughts into the cart as you puff away the dust to get the son of a bitch working, and finally get the thing to load up. It's 3:30 PM and you're ready to play Major League Baseball!

Oh. It ain't that good. Daniel, I want my copy of Monster Party back.