Well, we're back here again... but in a really weird way. You may wonder why I specifically am highlighting the Sega Master System version of this game. Personal resonance? Aesthetic goals? No no. I'm doing it because this version, this poor unloved little darling, may actually be one of the finer examples of its series. Yes. I said that. We do need to familiarize ourselves with the original version, however. Let's go and do that... now-ish. 1985's Ghosts n Goblins was, to put it mildly, a chaotic hell festival of hatred. (You can read more about said festival here if you like.) Luckily, it was an arcade machine and its hateful hellish nature combined with A+ aesthetic presentation made it a lot of quarters. 1988 saw a sequel, Ghouls n Ghosts. The original version of this game was quite a step up, and I'd call it one of the better games in the series. Mainly because it's shorter and gives you better control over the chaotic elements at play. Granted, it adds new ones... such as treasure chests. Hidden over all the levels are treasure chests you can find. Some have helpful items inside, like an armor upgrade or a weapon drop. Others (in fact like 80% of the fucking things, if we're being honest) have a shitty magician inside who will curse you. Gambling! How FUN. Other fun improvements that stuck with the series (but only sometimes) include being able to shoot in four directions, upgradeable armor which lets you charge your attack to do a magic attack depending on your weapon (but shatters just the same in one hit), and the second loop unlocking a super weapon called the Psycho Cannon which you need to have on your second go of the final level in order to reach the true final boss. The game even has a pretty faithful port on the Sega Genesis that definitely emulates the feel of the arcade; I'd call it the second-best Ghosts n Goblins game. All that is intro, however, to the Sega Master System version. This weird underdog port that came out for an underdog system... what's it do different?
Order. At last, some form of order in this nightmare. Some genius developer decided to fiddle about with their 8-bit port of an arcade game, and in the process they managed to overhaul the treasure chest system entirely. You will still get quite a few of those magicians, but now sometimes a door will appear when you pop one of the chests open. Inside, you may find your choice of upgrade. Three apiece, but they do shuffle around a bit. Upgrade your helmet and you'll get new magic (much more about that in a bit.), upgrade your armor and you gain an extra hit, upgrade your boots to go faster, and upgrade your weapon to get something that's stronger and faster. Here's the really fun thing. These upgrades are permanent. Ghouls n Ghosts SMS is actually a game that will make you stronger if you die a bunch on it, because you can get into a position where you keep opening chests to gain more upgrades and thus power through whatever's hassling you. It gets even more ludicrous when you look at the magic. You have a dedicated MP bar now, and certain chest doors will allow you to recharge life or magic. The very first helmet upgrade unlocks Shield magic, and for 2 MP you can become totally invincible for several seconds. With 8 or 9 shots of this before you need to refuel... be it by a door or by death. Plenty of time to dig up enough chests to find another upgrade. Far from being a total nightmare game (though the source material does have its moments and they peek through here), this one actually feels like it's reasonable and rewarding. It's the oddest thing to see in this series, and I kind of love it for it. It's a shame it hasn't been re-released on anything, but a copy can't be that hard to track down if you're dedicated. It's absolutely worth it. I love the damn thing so much, and I'm glad I got to talk about it.
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