Thursday, 6 February 2014

The Importance Of Player Two (Laser Invasion, Last Action Hero)

Welcome to the letter L! A bit late, but L is for late as they say. Wait. Nobody's said that in the history of forever. We have two video games ts time, since I need to cut one in order to space things out properly for... reasons. Neither of them are particularly remarkable. Where do we go from here, then? One could consult Phil Sandifer's guide on how to read and write the Nintendo Project. We need mystical logic. Themes and variations. Something to cohesively tie two electronic video games together. They have nothing to do with one another besides their alphabetical proximity. There seems to be very little of a link between the two. We have no tether. Thus, I have to jury rig one together. It will be janky and messy and full of feelings, but it's the day to do it. Why do I say that?

Because today is my friend Demi's birthday, and she has helped to save me from the nightmares lurking within myself. What good is a writer if he can't dedicate a post to someone he cares about? Two people, in this case, as another friend of mine, a lovely miss Elizabeth, shares a birthday. In this case I have made myself into the tether, a link between the Internet lives of two people. The tether of a birthday, the tether of friendship. Too many things are interconnected here, but I'm going to go with it anyway. One must take a risk with these sorts of things. So, Demi. Liz. This one's for you.

Where do we go now? That's easy. We go to the primal fear that lurks within the paranoid workings of my oh-so-human mind. We go to the fear of abandonment. Abandonment is something that this project is deeply rooted upon, so it seems almost fitting that I bring it up now. Abandonment is what has happened to the majority of these games. Electronic marvels that sank or swam, in the long-forgotten time that was the years between 1985 and 1994. The first nine years of my life. 20 more have passed since then. The NES, of course, has not been totally abandoned. Its gems are still strip mined by Nintendo, even now. Of course we all remember those classics. Mario, Zelda, Mega Man and more. They have evolved with the times and remained relevant. Then we have things that were left in the past, but still remembered. The hidden gems. Your Journey To Siliuses. Your Startropics. Things like that. Then the solid bedrock of eternity. The detritus of the NES, the things that existed to make a buck at the time and fell into almost deserved obscurity. Laser Invasion by Konami seems to be one of these. It has only been talked about twice in my passing; once by James Rolfe and once by a reviewer friend of mine. It is a flight simulation game and very similar to Top Gun. It was also compatible with some sort of voice-activated zapper gun. That's all I have on Laser Invasion. It's unremarkable. It's a game that exists and on any other day I'd move on from it... but now we have a reason to dwell on it.

Abandonment. The fear of being alone. The anxiety that comes from those nightmarish thoughts that float in my mind. When we fought my Nightmares with the happiness of an impending wedding, it was glorious. We blasted it into stardust. Nightmares, unfortunately, never die. They adapt. They have taken root in my brain and twisted those once happy thoughts. The what ifs dance through my mind like sadistic shrine maidens. What if I am unable to make it to the wedding? What am I going to do if I'm forced to sit here in isolation, alone as everyone else I care about meets for this celebration of love? How utterly miserable will I be, stewing in my own negativity? How much will I have let those two down by not being part of the festivities? These are the dark thoughts that I must combat. I am a simple creature. I don't want to be alone.

In 1993, the NES was alone. Last Action Hero came out on it. It was not a very good game. It was a slog and the average player ran out of patience with it quickly. You will note that I've dedicated all of two sentences to the games in question this entry. They are but single notes in the song of the NES. Flat notes that altered nothing. This entry has been negative so far, but it is time to talk up the positives. This is supposed to be a tribute. A celebration. Let me celebrate, then, the power of friendship. The raw untempered energy of hope that these two, and many others like them, bring me every day. Hell, I just found another tether between these two. They were both fans of my LP videos. My nonsensical ramblings in the year 2008 made them smile, and they became fans. Comments led to correspondence. Correspondence led to group chats. Group chats led to the close band of friends I have been part of for the past several years. It's more than that, however. These two... they care. The simple truth of my world view is that they care. If I find myself in a total funk due to the harsh whispers of my own insecurities, they will listen. I can pour myself out and they will do their damn best to make sure I feel even slighty better. Because they care. I, of course, would not hesitate for a second to do the same for them were they in need of someone to talk to. This is the power of hope. The power these two instill in me. The power to fight back against whatever bullshit plagues my head.

Happy birthday, Demi.
Happy birthday, Liz.
My life would be worse without you both.

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