Praise Be To Helix (Legendary Wings, Legends Of The Diamond, Lemmings)

I woke up today and all of my friends were singing the praises of a new god. Somehow, while I was away at the Shrine of Endless Adventure, a god rose to the pantheon. He is a timely god, one who thrives both in the Ago and in the now. Like our Goddess Valya, his disciples have created their own furvor. I am no Alan Moore, but I am told that the man has his own beasts to worship. Oh, we've had many a god and devil here already. Valya, the White Light of Hope. Nightmare, the Black Darkness of Despair... one day I'll probably work Peko The Destructor into this weaving narrative, and that will be a tale. For now, we speak of the Spiral God HELIX, and may his swirls twist you into your own center of balance. HELIX has existed since the ancient times, and much has been foretold of his rebirth. Supposedly it shall bring order to the utter chaos of the world. Let us look back at that chaos, through the lens of our Nintendo Project. Two more legends remain to us after our Endless Adventure was cut short, so now we must delve in.

This legend concerns a man with wings. In a time before the light, he soared above the sky, blasting... things. Legendary Wings, as the tome calls it, is an odd case. At first, the tale is muddled. The winged hero of HELIX cannot shoot the waves of... things faster than they come at him, and he perishes. Repeatedly. Boy, what a mess. Gradually, though, he spirals out of the pit of despair and becomes stronger for his experience. He can deal with an onslaught of fire backing him into a corner of the sky. With the heavy beat of his wings, feathers fly as he zips past the ancient superweapons, countering with his own blasts. A medley of wild... things come after him. Squares and shapes and disembodied heads of statues, springing to life and into the sky. An impossible set of beasts. Don't blink. Eventually our hero finds a mythic dragon, but he is strong enough to match its leathery wingbeat and destroy it. Ahead is a palace, and the words of HELIX ring forth. THE DEVIL IS WAITING FOR US IN THE PALACE. Our perspective shifts, and now our winged hero rushes forward courageously. Ancient statues of the goddess Valya line these walls as we fly and shoot. At the end of it is the devil... or, at least, his champion. We'll speak more of the devil in a moment, but his champion bears note. It is a monstrosity of technology and living matter, pulsating and quivering as it advances, its multiple eyes gazing upon our hero with malice. This is the eternal bio-mechanical dread beast GREED, and it smites our hero. HELIX has failed us. Now comes the realm of the devil.

Ah yes. The devil of this ancient place. Not the Nightmare that we know, but a being diametrically opposed to HELIX. Say hello to the Rounded Devil, DOME. We are in his domain now. A dome which encases a diamond. A baseball diamond. Dear god! Baseball! Even Phil Sandifer couldn't cover them all! He did his best to crack at all of them at once, but the Rounded Devil's crabby little claws have spread them all around! Worse yet, his game involves the very legends of the sport itself! Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and more... all encased within his dome for his amusement. We are in there with them, and we must lead the Samurais to victory. Oh, it seems hopeless. Just like every other sports game, this is going to be a convoluted mess of control. DOME will lead his bionic baseball soldiers to victory through machine power, and we will be stuck! I pray to Valya as I swing the bat again. Surely the white light of hope can illuminate this dome. It turns out that it can. I hit a home run. From there, I found that these Legends of the Diamond are easy to resonate with. The soft whisperings of Valya be praised. She and HELIX are enjoying each other's company, and the Goddess Valya is always helpful. Even during the bottom innings, I am able to stop the Titans in their tracks. The Rounded Devil can see that I am enjoying myself. It is no sport unless the voyager is suffering. The dome opens, and I am free once more. We have experienced HELIX. We have experienced DOME. Where the hell do they come from? I'll tell you. Lemmings.


Yes. Lemmings. That game with the little green-haired guys. It got an NES port. That surprises me, considering that it's a PC game and all. Sure, it was ported to the SNES, but that's a story for another day. Besides, the SNES had a mouse. The NES controller, as boxy and brilliant as it is, is not quite a mouse. The control here takes getting used to, but a clever mind quickly adapts even without a legendary manual.
Lemmings on NES is actually quite good. That's where we would end, but now comes the explanation. The secret origin of HELIX and DOME is Pokemon. A shrine of its own, fueled by the dread beast GREED. Does Pokemon have anything to do with NES? Well, according to Jon Jafari, there was a bootleg NES Pokemon game. It's a weak tether but I'll take it. This is all about timing. As I write, a stream is ongoing. Twitch Plays Pokemon. The idea is that a game of Pokemon Red is underway, and it is controlled entirely by a stream chat. Typing a button input will register that input. The twist is that this thing took off, and there are upwards of 40,000 people currently inputting things into the chat. 40,000 Lemmings, trying to do the job of one. Amidst this nonsense, people have created their own narratives, much like I am doing. The Spiral God HELIX is what the stream chose, and he is their champion. They have praised him. Asked him questions. Drawn him. All while condemning the Rounded Devil DOME of course, for he is the diametric opposite. They are fossils, and one can only choose one or the other. In an alternate reality, HELIX would be the enemy. Alas, here we are, praising him and the fervor he has created. The 40,000 are like Legion. Like the Lemmings. They are one from many, and united they just might be able to bring victory to House HELIX.

Meanwhile, we must continue on. Perhaps we will see these ancient gods again sometime. Perhaps not. The Goddess Valya has curious whispers for us. The Nightmare is regaining its strength. We have not the time to fiddle about with the pantheon of video game gods, for we have an old foe to best. We have much to learn. After all... only a Dream Master can truly vanquish the Nightmare.