George, Jimmy, And Joe (The Jetsons, Jimmy Connors Tennis, Joe And Mac)

Okay. I shook off the beast of hacking. It wasn't easy, but I think we've finally emerged to something of normality... though the transformation has left certain surprises upon the world. One of them being The Jetsons: Cogswell's Caper. This one really is a relic of its time, huh? The animated imaginings of 1960's retro-futurism, done in the style of the Flintstones. George Jetson's ridiculous-looking utopia of 2062 is a reminder of how people back then looked forward. They expected articles like this to be written on Mars. With telepathy. Regular rocket ships to the moon and shit like that. Not the case, sweethearts. Not the case. We do live in the damn future, though; just yesterday, I was out for drinks and dinner with family, a barbecue on the winter solstice. Someone mentioned getting their son a "smart TV" that is also a computer. That shit baffles me, man. I'm writing this on a machine that's like something out of Star Trek, while also listening to some music... of which I have a selection of thousands on the same machine. Hell, even the game we're talking about is a perfect representation. In 1962 it would have been considered a technological marvel. In 1992, when it came out, it would have been a well-made NES game released during the twilight years, when all eyes were on the next big thing. Now, as 2013's embers fizzle and a new future looms, we get to look at it. You know what? It's good. It's not going to set the world aflame with quality, but it has a charm to it. A charm, granted, it has taken by ripping from another popular NES game. In this game George Jetson picks up crates to throw at enemies. It's a damn Rescue Rangers ripoff, but a charming one. Would have blown someone's mind in 1962, I bet. Gold star, George.

Jimmy Connors Tennis probably would have done that, too. Rather unfortunately for that game, I was not alive in 1962. Mind you, it doesn't reek or anything. It's not a blight upon the land of dreams, the last gasp of the Nightmare's vortex. It's just a tennis game with some guy's name on it, made in 1993. I'm disappointed that they thought they could do this back then. Nobody was around for the heat death of the NES, but at least most people were trying. Don't put yourself on the same level as LJN, Jimmy. What we have here is tennis. Plain-ass tennis where the computer hits the ball like a wizard, even on beginner, and the music is a 15 second loop. Jimmy, why should I care? Why should I have cared in 1993? If I wanted tennis on NES in 1993, I had it. I played it. It was called Tennis and it had come out eight years prior. You hit the ball back and forth. I scored exactly once and then the computer rolled me. Good job, Jimmy. Good job.


To close off the snowy night, I went back to the past. Way back. Depending on how you look at it, it's either the 1990s or the distant past of prehistory, the Ago of cave dwellers and dinosaurs. Joe and Mac, on the NES. I have but one memory of this game that was not forged on this cold evening. The 1990s. An uncle's place, an uncle who will be paid proper tribute should this blog ever reach the letter N. Joe and Mac on the NES, and a very large and very dangerous T Rex. Loading up Joe and Mac now, it looks quite nice for the twilight time of Nintendo. I'm impressed. Moreso than I was with Jimmy. It's like Adventure Island, only it's.. a bit off. I defeated a T Rex that was about my size, and wondered if that was it. No. Not a chance. Venturing further we find the real thing, looming and large, hucking boulders at me. I was unable to hit it. My childhood terror, that long-forgotten It which crashed to Earth in the Ago, beating me again... but now I am older. I possess the smarts to realize that some ability must be present to beat this creature, and then I find a high jump. I am now pelting axes into the beast's maw. I am overcoming the first hurdle, the hurdle of ancient men. The hurdle of the beast. I come out on top, and I smile a little. Not bad, Joe. Not bad at all.