End Of The World Cyber-Freak Festival (John Elway's Quarterback, Jordan vs Bird One On One, Journey To Silius)

It's December 31st, 2013. Outside is blue sky and radiant sun shining down on mounds of snow that are entirely too tall. On the island of Newfoundland on Canada's East Coast, the news advises us to keep your dogs safe from fireworks. Inside, on iTunes, a portal to 1972 has casually opened inside my computer speakers, and David Bowie warbles about his moonage daydream. Today is a day about looking back, but let's not kid ourselves. This entire project is about looking back, about tracking the story of the NES through time and the alphabet. I glanced back at Mr. Sandifer's earlier work the other evening, and I found an entry that fits with what we have to talk about today. As only he can, he turned an entry about Fisher-Price games into some waffling about the end of the world. It's relevant today, considering. The world was supposed to end in 1990, according to Mr. Sandifer. It was also supposed to end in 2000, due to some dating bullshit. If I wanted to, I could make a comparison to the Millennium Bug, UNIT Dating, and the Doctor Who TV movie starring Paul McGann... but no. Best to leave Doctor Who talk for other people to talk about. The final game of the resumed Nintendo Project's 2013 will deal with the end of the world, but what caused this apocalypse? I'll tell you. It was Darth License and the forces of darkness. They did it for sports.

John Elway's Quarterback is a game about football endorsed by a man named John Elway. It came out in 1987 and was developed by Rare. I'm beginning to wonder just what the hell was up with Rare. Not only did they fire off a galut of this licensed dreck as mavericks for hire... but when it looked like the world wasn't going to end in 1991, they fired off Battletoads to try and make sure that at least FUN would die in 1991. This is a football game. I'm Canadian. We have a Canadian Football League, but who in the holy hell watches that? In Canada we mostly like hockey. I suppose this is why I can tolerate the likes of Ice Hockey or Blades of Steel. It's in my blood and I know the rules. Football? What is this? You pick plays? You run across a field while men try to knock you down? I have absolutely no idea what's going on, but I can tell you that this is no classic. What I lack in football knowledge I make up for with NES knowledge. I know that Tecmo Bowl is supposed to be the "good" football game. It's the one that the Trickster Beast ROMHACK has toyed with, mucking about with time and adding new rosters. We'll have words with him in a year or two, with luck.

Jordan vs. Bird: One On One is a game about basketball endorsed by two men named Michael Jordan and Larry Bird. It came out in 1988 and was developed by Rare. Has the record skipped? Rare, what are you doing? You keep that up and you'll cause the apocalypse. This one is a little better than Mr. Elway's game, and it's just a battle between two men. Mr. Jordan and Mr. Bird had a one on one basketball game. I lost because I have no idea how to control this thing. I kept getting fouls and I had no idea how to stop Mr. Bird from scoring points. We did this already. It was called Hoops. This game is better than Hoops, but why should I give a fig about basketball on NES? Why should anyone? This game is 25 years old. Soon to be 26. In a very real sense, the world has ended for it. Let's talk about something that people care about. Let's talk about the end of the world.

Journey To Silius, on its surface, is a very good run and gun game made by Sunsoft with some (gulp) realistic falling physics involving momentum. Being from Sunsoft, it has amazing music and graphics. Some say it's a classic, a forgotten gem. There's another facet of the game, though. One that a child in 1990, awaiting the Red Death, would not have known. This game was supposed to be a Terminator game. With the impending release of Terminator 2, it was changed to a generic little action video game. This game, covered as 2013 falls, has roots in a series wherein the machines cause the end of the world. I can remember this summer, just before this resumed Nintendo Project began. I looked up a list of films from the 1980s that dealt with nuclear apocalypse. The list is quite modest. Mr. Sandifer was right. The world really was on a powder keg during the 1980s... during the rise of the Famicom and NES, and the fall of Doctor Who. Isn't it amusing, though? The two games we have here made during the time when the world was on the brink of nuclear oblivion are boring sports game made to cash in. I might understand the corporate greed of the 80's now. Money is useless once the bombs start flying, so start making it while the making is good. Even Journey To Silius has its roots here, but it became something different. Something good. It's a good game, but very difficult. The bleakness has not left us just yet. That would be later, when the NES had its own fall. A year from now, the Super Nintendo will be announced. The Soviet Union will collapse, and the Cold War will die. The world will shift into a new age; the age of the 90's. Coincidentally, that's when my own memories as a sentient human come in. I may be a child of the dark times, and I may hold a bit of the darkness in my heart... but I will always remember the light.

What I'm trying to say is Happy New Year. We'll see how far this project can go in 2014. Ideally, I'd like to finish the thing. It, plus my books, plus other writing I've done this year, have made me feel like I'm becoming better at this thing. People tell me that I'm a good writer. Maybe I am. We'll see where we can go from there.

Onward to 2014, lovelies.