Get Off My Lawn (Kid Klown, Kid Kool, Kid Niki: Radical Ninja)

Oops. Had a bit of a breather there, to learn a little more about the constant battle of light vs. dark. We're going to apply it to the first game up today. All of these games have the word "Kid" at the start. Kid Icarus was special enough to get his own because his was an affair that spanned the dimensions of death. Kid Klown In Night Mayor World, though... well, now we've got something. Looking at it from the practical side of things, it is an NES platformer made in 1993. Shades of crossing over our own timeline yet again, with an onrush of feelings culminating in the destruction of our insecurities. Look at the name, though. Night Mayor. Say it out loud and you understand the wool attempted to be placed over your eyes. Is this our first encounter with the Nightmare, or does it know what we will become? Regardless, it takes the form of a Snidley Whiplash pastiche who kidnaps the family of a young clown. After a quick tutorial level culminating in a battle against a hedgehog boss who rolls into a ball and attempts to kill you (no really), Kid Klown is thrust into a mirror and enters the land of Night Mayor. He has little choice in the matter. The Night Mayor, a delegate of Despair, has his family hostage. Our clown friend (never thought I'd say THAT, after multiple reads of Stephen King's It) cannot let the darkness and despair taint his heart. He is but a child, but he has limitless potential. Much like this game. Night Mayor World is a twisted yet colorful mishmash of insanity, calling to mind our own future battle with the Nightmare. Just like before, I will let my own dreams and beliefs guide me on the path to victory. These are the preachings of Valya, the inner meditations of pure Hope. Yin and Yang, Light and Dark, Valya and Nightmare... now I'm calling it Hope and Despair. In no small part due to what I took a breather to read, but anyway. Kid Klown is quite a good video game! It proves that Hope could win out in the twilight of the NES. I would play it to completion, someday. The same cannot be said for the other kids up today. Despair already flitters upon my subconscious as I prepare to experience them.

That was not very good. Kid Kool kould not be further from the truth. This kid has to save a king who's dying from a terminal disease or some such shit, and he's got to get seven herbs in three days. Really, who kares? This is Vik Tokai, and they've done some pretty kool games. Klash At Demonhead is the one everyone likes to kite and Skott Pilgrim referenked it for some reason. Klash At Demonhead is a very good game, however. Kid Kool is not. The idea is, you have to build up momentum and move very quikkly. The problem with this is that you die in one hit and the enemies appear far too fast for you to reakt to them, so you kollide with them before you are even aware that there is something on screen to kollide with. There's also issues with building up momentum and making long jumps. If you stop too klose to an edge, you are skrewed and have little khoike but to die. I don't like Kid Kool. James Rolfe doesn't like Kid Kool. Maybe Kid Kool has its fans but it's kompletely unremarkable to me, and this gimmikk typing krap is getting on my nerves and yours too so let's just move on. Please.

I'm not sure how to feel about Kid Niki: Radical Ninja. I fail to see what's radical about him, other than being a product of 1987. This game is not very good, but it's not very bad either. It's a passable bit of entertainment. I don't know what it is, but we've entered some sort of neutral zone. Hope does not spring eternal here, nor does despair reign with an infinite summer of discontent. We just have a game where you run to the right and hit ninjas with a twirly sword thing. Then you find a boss and he looks really weird. Like that guy at the end of Big Trouble In Little China who gets really mad and expands before exploding. John Carpenter makes good movies. That's an aside because there really isn't too much else to say about Kid Niki. But I'll try. It's one of those games that just exists. If one had it as a child, they would likely have nostalgic feelings towards it. It is difficult with its one hit kills, and it took me a while to clear level 2... but it's a game that seems to reward persistence. It screams early NES, and I appreciate it for its honesty like that. Kid Niki, you're okay in your neutrality and I respect that greatly.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Night Mayor needs to get wrecked.