Yet Another Sixteen Screams For Halloween: Day 16 (Halloween II)

Boo.

Well, here we are at last. Halloween! I am banging this one out at just after 3 PM, having literally finished watching the film in question moments ago. I do this because I want to be closer to the front door to greet the children who are expecting sweet treats and/or tricks. So, let's sort this one out as quick as we can before I get interrupted by like 20 knocks on the door. October 31st, the end of the marathon, has traditionally been the slot for the Halloween franchise. Michael Myers and all that. I've covered pretty much every film, and my options are slim. It was either The Curse Of Michael Myers, Rob Zombie's take, or this film which slipped under my radar for so long. I chose to get this one out of the way, and the slip under the radar was deliberate. I do not care for Halloween II. I did not like this movie the first time I saw it. I might have seen it a second time, I don't know. What I do know is that I gave it another shot just now, and it also failed to connect. Maybe I wasn't fair to the thing, given that I started the morning with a rewatch of the original. As one is a direct sequel to the other, in fact picking up right where it left off, maybe I'm not being so unfair. If it wants to pair itself with the original so bad, then I'll judge it by those standards.

Where does Halloween II get it wrong? It's hard to explain, but let me start by just saying that the energy and vibes are all wrong. Halloween, the first one, is this transcendental thriller that has a power to it. It is a movie about being stalked in the shadows by something, about the fear of Halloween night. It is also a movie which happens to have sexhaving teens getting killed by this something, which is called the Boogeyman. It ends perfectly with the Boogeyman still out there, a montage of dark hallways in any home, the fear ever present and the shadows which keep on changing. Halloween II is a movie about people getting killed in increasingly lurid and gross ways. It is a slasher movie through and through, and kind of a bog-standard one. Sexhavers get killed in ridiculous ways, there's fake jumpscares and long scenes of people getting stalked down empty hallways, and when they do get got it's really gross and what you came here to see. It is a movie that does not make you wonder if someone will be killed, but when. Halloween II is a mean movie, increasing its body count with sheer spite and contempt, and I almost feel like fucking Siskel and Ebert in how puritanical I'm being over a slasher movie. Let me say this, having watched both pretty much back to back. Laurie's friends in Halloween feel like characters. The hospital staff in Halloween II feel like warm bodies to be killed for our delight.

Both of these films are the same length, and yet while Halloween flew by I felt like Halloween II was taking ages to get through. There's a nasty undercurrent to this movie as it shifts away from what Halloween was. People gripe about Halloween III being completely different, but I am realizing that all three of them are. The only problem is that Halloween II didn't change enough. Whereas Halloween is a thriller about the Boogeyman with some kills, and Halloween III is technopaganism using the commercialist corruption of ancient Samhain against us, Halloween II is just... a slasher movie. All the mercury and power is drained of it, like a victim drained of its blood, and you just have a slasher picture. What makes this one different from the rest? The guy slashing people is wearing a Captain Kirk mask instead of a burlap sack, or a hockey mask, or a burned face. There's also that whole Laurie retcon, which baffles me. It tries to explain why Michael is doing what he is doing, but paradoxically also doesn't explain enough. Later movies at least do somewhat better about this, but if you're gonna give him motivation you have to go all the way. He has ceased to be the Boogeyman and become Michael Myers, iconic slasher villain who can shrug off multiple bullets because uhhh shut up if he doesn't then you can't see nurses have their faces melted or get needles in their eyeballs now can you?

I know it's beloved and I'm being a wild heretic here, but at the end of the day I have to call it as a I see it. I don't like this one. I know I'm judging it for not being as good as Halloween instead of being its own thing, which is what detractors of Halloween III will do... but for fuck's sakes, the damn thing is bringing it on itself by picking up right where the first movie left off! How can I not compare them and find Halloween II wanting? That's all I want to say about it. Halloween II, arguably the last good Halloween movie unless either of the Zombie ones do something really wild that makes me like them. Stranger things have happened, but this is where I leave you for now. Normally I'd be leaving you until the holidays, given that thing in November. I am still doing my own version of that, but I do have some comic books to talk about for Sean so you'll be seeing me during that month. All that remains to be said is happy Halloween, and go watch a good spooky movie. Maybe that's Halloween II for you. For me, I'm going to throw Halloween III on again when it gets dark and enjoy myself a hell of a lot more than I did with this. Thanks for sticking with me on the marathon, y'all. Until the next time I see you... trick or treat.