Sixteen Screams For Halloween: Day 11 (Gamera: Guardian Of The Universe)

Ridley and Kraid got beef.

Thank God. A little retreat from heavy themes like abuse and anxiety and gaslighting which make me uncomfy both watching the movie and then trying to write about it like a big weirdo on the Internet. Instead we have a pretty straightforward kaiju movie, and it's even from the Heisei era which I gather has some films that are appreciated by many a kaiju aficionado. I mean... I vibed with Godzilla vs. Biollante, and Godzilla 2000? Gamera is not in my wheelhouse, however. I also gather there were some films about Gamera from Back In The Day and that this is a revival of sorts. This is their Godzilla 1984 but it's a movie about a giant turtle beating the shit out of a giant bird. There's a simple level of pleasure from such a movie, a level which even legendary film critic Roger Ebert vibed with despite not vibing with the original 1954 Godzilla. That's interesting. I'm no Roger Ebert (though I have beaten Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the NES, a feat that to the best of my knowledge the late Mr. Ebert never accomplished in his eventful life) but let's see what we can make of this giant turtle kaiju movie.

The temptation is there to call this a goofy bit of fun. Certainly, in some respects it does mirror the general vibe that the Godzilla movies of the 70's were going for. You got this big monster who's Japan's protector, and then another big monster shows up to threaten shit and the first big monster wakes up to stomp on some buildings on its way to whoop the bad monster's ass with fireballs and lasers and shit. Though I admit to vibing with the more thoughtful and darker Godzilla films (I believe the trilogy of 1954, 1984, and Shin Godzilla to be a perfect triple feature exploring Japanese anxieties of the eras in which they were made) there's nothing wrong with just throwing on a fun little monster movie and watching a turtle beat the shit out of a bird. Crucially, though, just because the movie is fun doesn't mean it's mindless. If I wanted that, I'd watch one of the Legendary Pictures Monsterverse movies. Apologies to the fans of those, I couldn't resist the dig, but my biggest thematic and resonant takeaway from Godzilla vs. Kong was "don't let Elon Musk build Mechagodzilla". Which, while correct, doesn't exactly light my creative analysis part of my brain on fire, you know? This Gamera movie did manage to do that a little, so let's talk about that.

Environmentalism ahoy. That's one of the core concerns of the film, a film which begins with a convoy dragging a shitload of plutonium across the sea. The idea of what sort of a world we're leaving behind for future generations when we leave all sorts of radioactive isotopes and shit around is a central hook of the film, and the mess of stuff like toxic waste and plutonium is directly paralleled with the monsters of the movie, who were no joke created by an advanced ancient civilization from Atlantis? The bird kaiju, Gyaos, is some sort of ultimate genetic lifeform which ran amok and pretty much destroyed the ancients, but they managed to create Gamera as well to defend them and fight off the Gyaos. Now they're back because the ever-increasing level of pollution and whatnot is a perfect world for Gyaos eggs to hatch and grow into scary unstoppable kaiju birds. Give a hoot, don't pollute, or a giant fucking bird kaiju will fuck people up in 10,000 years. We also have a spiritual connection between a teenage girl and Gamera, a psychic link formed by her holding onto a magatama found on Gamera's back. It feels a lot like the same "Newtype" business that was at play in Gundam or, indeed, Godzilla vs. Biollante. The psychic and empathetic kids are our future, so don't fuck up the Earth too much. The climax has her holding her father's hand to channel energy so Gamera can shoot a real big fireball at Gyaos to blow him up good. Hot damn, this is a fun movie. The effects are a little low budget at times, but everything comes together. I really kinda vibe with this movie, I wonder why--

Wait. Wait. Advanced ancient civilization making monsters using technology beyond the modern world? A strong level of communication between the girl and the good kaiju that helps them understand each other? Holding hands in the climax? OH GOD THIS IS TOUCHING ON THE SAME SHIT SYMPHOGEAR DID! OH NO! I NEVER LEFT! I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I WRITE A BOOK ON THESE GAMERA MOVIES!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!