The Harmony Of Hope And The Dirge Of Despair: Epilogue (All Good Things...)

(Continued from 5.5)

Well, we made it. It's the end. You and I, over God knows how many words, have journeyed through Symphogear over proverbial coffee. Now I have to say goodbye, the only way I know how; through longwinded gonzo and heartfelt writing. Yes, we're going to try to sum up Symphogear and what it meant to me. We're also going to try and deep dive into my interior landscape. A very talented person, someone I feel I can call a peer and a friend, once advised me on this project by asking me to listen to my own emotions, and really ask myself why and how this big dumb show meant so much to me. That's the question I'm going to answer here at the end. I will, of course, frame it in terms I understand but try to make them clear. To my friend and peer, and indeed the rest of you, I hope you approve of my answer.

Symphogear is a show which acts for everything I believe in. The framing device its first and last seasons took on was a cruel world filled with misery and despair. I began this show in November 2019, just before our own world shifted to its own strange nightmare. For many, 2020 was a hell year. For me, due to very personal reasons I am uncomfy sharing here, 2021 has been a bit of a hell year. We're a third through and so much grief and suffering has put me through the wringer... but I have hung on, day by day, making my own way. Symphogear is a show about facing a hell world with unflinching optimism and hope. It is a world in which we as humans are cursed, on levels of microcosm and macrocosm, to be unable to understand each other. Be it oh so human nationalism or a dark goddess with powers far beyond mortal comprehension, there are terrible things out there. Symphogear is a show about facing them, acknowledging them, and doing our absolute best to understand them and each other. A hand for fighting the darkness, and one to hold the hand of a friend. A show that shows a terrible world, and someone fighting their damnedest to make it a better one.

Is it perfect? Oh my god, no. As I raved and ranted, the show betrayed me in numerous moments. It gave Dr. Ver heroic pathos, it lionized Nastassja's abuse because "she felt bad about it and also the Frontier kids turned out alright in the end", and killed off all its redeemed antagonists in blazes of glory. Not only that, but there are the things I didn't mention. Things I turned a blind eye to, like its cheesecake fanservice nature. There are certain shots like transformation sequences or beach episodes that are a little too horny on main and would put off people otherwise down with the show. I acknowledge these flaws, these missteps. To quote from another ideal, one important to me, at certain points this show betrayed me. It betrayed my trust, betrayed what it stood for... it let me down. Sailor Moon, as I've never shut up about, did the same thing right at the very end. I acknowledge these moments of hurt and betrayal, but then I take a page from the book of Hibiki Tachibana. I forgive the shows, overall.

Yes, I forgive them. Some of this shit was fucked up, and we have to call a spade a spade, but they don't ruin the whole for me personally. That's what Hibiki and pals would do. Their friends betrayed them on multiple occasions, but they never stopped believing in them. In the same way, I never stopped believing in Symphogear. Even when it fucked me (and boy did it fuck me in places), I never gave up my hope and love for the show and I never will. You may judge the show how you will, of course, but at the end of the day this screed is about how I feel and what I believe... and what I believe is that Symphogear has been a foundational work for my interior landscape. Just as Sailor Moon was before it. Before we go, before Symphogear goes, I want to explain to you what that means to me.

I've never believed in number scores for media, especially after a certain video game review incident in 2013. I want to highlight something I wrote over 4 years ago, during the introduction to a massive post about the video game Persona 4 Golden, when I discussed what a "10/10" meant to me:

"For me personally, a "10/10" is a game that is not just extremely satisfying and enjoyable to play. It is an entertainment experience that creates gravity of its own inside my headspace. We are talking about games that stay with me for years after the fact, and fundamentally change who I am as a human being."

There are precious few works of creative fiction which have done this to me. I can name a few for you: Doctor Who. Dirty Pair. Persona 4 Golden. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Sailor Moon. Now Symphogear is among them, and just like those other pieces of media I'm closing the book on them. Doctor Who is its own special ongoing case where the book has remained open, due to it being sort of a neverending story. It's complicated and we can't go into it here... but the way I'm framing this is in terms of Doctor Who. You may be familiar with the concept of regeneration in Doctor Who, the process by which the titular time traveller completely changes his appearance and personality. Closing the book on Symphogear is, just like closing the book on those other works of fiction I listed above, my own personal regeneration.

There's a lovely poignant line from Matt Smith's 11th Doctor in his swan song (Climax Song?) episode, Time Of The Doctor, moments before he himself is about to regenerate into a new form:

"We all change, when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me."

Now, in this moment, I am mirroring Matt Smith. I have changed and grown oh so much since, always moving forward... but I've never forgotten those foundational pieces of media. The future incarnations of the Doctor will always remember when the Doctor was Matt Smith, just as every person (and/or lupine) touched by that Doctor's tenure will always remember him. So, too, will I always remember when those shows and games were my most important touchstones. How Dirty Pair rekindled my interest in anime by just being good plain fun. How Persona 4 Golden's cast endeared itself to me. How Star Trek turned me into a utopic idealist, and how Sailor Moon planted the seed of naive idealism into me... and then comes Symphogear, a keystone that ties all of this stuff together into one cohesive 80-episode package. No wonder Symphogear was so important to me. It was everything I loved mashed together.

Now I have to say goodbye to it. Oh, there will be revisits. Even now, as I type, my minimalist desktop background of Hibiki is staring at me. I have the first two seasons physically in the house on Blu-Ray, I can fire the rest up on the tablet any time I want, during any vacation, sharing that nostalgic energy with places important to me. As far as writing about it, obsessing over its symbolism and theming and parallels, though... this is the end. I have to move forward. I have to regnerate, if you will. I don't know what comes next on the blog. Some smaller fluff pieces that have been growing in my head while I sort this Symphogear shit out, certainly... but what's the next big thing? What piece of creative fiction will light my thoughts aflame with inspiration and endless possibility? What will fundamentally change me next? I don't know, and that's the exciting part. One day I'll discover it for myself, and eagerly pour my heart and soul out on the page about it. I hope you are there and willing to listen, dear reader. 

Until then, it's time to bow out. To all of you, to all the inspirations who came before... I thank you. To you, Symphogear... thank you for lighting my dark hours with your idealism, making me cry with your heartfelt emotion, and making me gasp in amazement at a cool girl punching stuff really hard. I started this project talking about Eternals and anime girls who embodied those ideals, but I realized it was bigger than that. It wasn't the anime girls, it was their whole damn shows. Hibiki Tachibana is Eternal, but so is Symphogear. An eternal song in my heart that I will always believe in. Time to go, sweethearts. Time to drive down the lonely highway of night, with the song in my heart on the radio as my companion. Time to say goodbye to Symphogear the only way I know how... with a song. To my sweet inspiration and to my caring readers... I let you go.

Gatrandis babel ziggurat edenal

Emustolronzen Finé el balal zizzl

Gatrandis babel ziggurat edenal

Emustolronzen Finé el zizzl

Nov. 7th, 2019 - May 2nd, 2021