The Alchemy Index (Klashball, Knight Rider, The Krion Conquest)

There was something here, you know. A realm under assault from insecurities and bad dreams. We should only have just arrived to it, but we were a month and a half early. Do you remember? That green ring was what did it. An Eightfold Emerald, glittering across time and space, rippling pure positive emotion across the void between worlds. The void between words. We defeated the Nightmare, then and there, with the power of feelings. A month and a half later, we can look upon that happy planet of dreams and smile. Part of the Nightmare will always lurk within me. Nobody can be truly pure. We are all an amalgam of hope and despair. One just has to let the hope prevail within you. One needs to trust. Trust that they are not a burden to their friends. Trust that they are not an annoyance. Trust that their problems and grievances matter, and that those you love will do everything in their power to set you on the right path.

Kirby's Adventure is still a good video game, and my friends still love each other very much and I love them in return with much friendship. The words I said then still matter now that we've made it here, but I stand by saying them prematurely. It needed to be done. Now then... where are we going next?

Oh. Klashball. I consider myself fairly knowledgeable about the NES library. With history at the pulse of my fingers, I have absorbed much knowledge. Klashball was an unknown to me until about 20 minutes ago. I had never heard of it. It sort of just slipped in between the cracks. Fitting, since it's basically a sports game. Some sort of robot soccer played in the future (or robot football, if you're not from North America). I wasn't expecting much, but you know what? It was a fun enough distraction, and I actually honest to god won my matchup against the CPU this time. A first for a Nintendo Project sports game. Usually the things have some convoluted way of controlling them that makes me lose because I don't know the button presses. Somehow, this was simple enough. Run up and earn goals. The goalie wasn't a superhuman, the opposing side wasn't on me like a rabid pack of wolves, switching players wasn't some complex button combination only the manual would reveal... it was an actual intuitive soccer video game! With robots! Hell, I even found the inklings of a system to make your team level up and improve! God damn! Why does this one have to fall to obscurity while shit like the American football NES games are known? Thanks, Klashball. Sports games aren't all bad. You're the best one since... Ice Hockey, I think.

Too bad the same can't be said for Knight Rider. It's a novel concept for a game, I'll give it that. Had Knight Rider faded into obscurity by 1988? What a strange use for a license. The thing plays like Rad Racer, in first-person perspective, with you being able to shoot cars. Cool idea. Some cars shoot back. Situations pop up where your shots don't hit a car but their shots hit you. What is that? I mean, come now. What is that? One should be made to take an oath when they make this sort of thing. Never cruel nor cowardly. "I CAN HIT YOU BUT YOU CAN'T HIT ME" is the war cry of a coward. A coward taking advantage of programming quirks to destroy, to demoralize, to despair. I am a little bit offended by this display against me. I did not expect much from Knight Rider, but I expected something a little better than this. You've upset me, David Hasselhoff. Your fancy future car is little more than a hassle to me. Did you like that? What I just did with your name? It was clever. More clever than making a game based on Knight Rider and then messing up the concept. I'm just marking time now, let's get to the last video game here.

Okay. Much better, if not... a strange twin. The Krion Conquest. Look to the right. Just look at that. You know whose lifeforce we're draining here. This little witch wants to play at being a super fighting robot. Her magic is potent, to be sure. The alchemic mix that has brought her to life has animated several of her spells... including something she shouldn't have. She has a magic broom to fly over spikes, a blast of cool ice to freeze things, a magical shield to defend herself... and the curious ability to focus her magic into one powerful shot. Strange, how she knows that. Perhaps the dark gods she made her deals with know of the future, as we do. Curious, that. It's worth looking into. Despite all of that, she's missing something. Alchemy is a tricky prospect, after all. That essential spark is missing from this battle against the Krions. Something just doesn't gel right with what this witch is trying to take her power from, and it shows. Nevertheless, enough energy has been siphoned to make this one playable. Worth giving a spin.

Well, here we are. One more turn 'round the galaxy, and we're away from another letter. Are you ready, Valyan apprentices? Listen to your inner Valya, the sweet voice powered by your own Eightfold Emerald. Listen to her and let your thoughts resonate within your minds. Before we leave this world, we must attune ourselves once more and turn our bodies into weapons.