Air Man Isn't Even All That Hard (Mega Man 2)

(Hello again! Today we are talking about Mega Man 2, a game whose gravity is massive. Quite possibly the most revered action platformer on NES, and even if you don't agree with that you have to admit that it's way up on the list. It's far too much for even my esoteric madness to handle, so I'm proud to introduce the first guest post of The Nintendo Project, Resumed! My pal and intrepid game designer, John Thyer, is here to tell you why Mega Man 2 is brilliant. Most of you already "know" that, but much like Phil Sandifer's TARDIS Eruditorum, we are here to ignore what we "know" in favor of talking about when a revolution has taken place. I'll defer to John now, but not before popping you a link to the games he's made. They're pretty neat. And now, friends and constant readers... Mega Man 2.)

So. Let’s talk about title screens.

NES games, by and large, did not have great title screens. For a long time they all followed the “text on a black background with no music” template set up by the earliest games on the console, like Mario Bros. and Donkey Kong. Even once they moved beyond that template, very few did anything interesting. Most of the exceptions were from Nintendo games -- Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Super Mario Bros. 3 -- but even these didn’t do anything more than set the mood. Very few added to the story of their game in a truly meaningful way.

Mega Man 2 is the exception. It stands toe-to-toe with the the best title screens of the 16-bit era, when heavy-hitters like Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy VI, and Earthbound entered the scene.

You can give it a watch over here. Let’s look at a few interesting details:

1) The first detail that sticks out is the music: the song playing is the same as the ending music to Mega Man 1. This is a cute touch, and it’s a clever way to provide a bit of connective tissue between the two stories.

2) Later Mega Man games would come to use expository intro text as a crutch, but 2’s manages to summarize the entire setup of the game in only three sentences. Not only that, but it’s the only expository text in the entire game!

3) The pan up the side of the building it still damn cool.

4) Listen to how the music develops during the pan upwards. The transition to the big, heroic Mega Man theme at the top is seamless.

5) When the player presses the start button, Mega Man puts on his helmet and teleports away, signalling the start the game. (This will be important later.)

That’s a staggering amount of clever ideas to fit into such a small amount of time. Keep in mind that Mega Man 1 doesn’t have any sort of intro, and neither does 3 for that matter. The intros from 4 onward are all overlong and boring, and I’m pretty sure most players skip past them on replays. Speaking to my own experience, I let 2’s play out every single time.

So, that’s the first forty-five seconds. What about the rest of the game?

Well, one of the most striking things about playing Mega Man 2 in 2014 is how messy it is. It has dozens of little design problems and unfair moments of a sort that aren’t really present in the later Mega Man games. 

The most egregious offender is the Boobeam Trap in the fourth level of Wily’s Fortress (or as its more commonly known, that goddamned Crash Bomb boss). It’s easily the most poorly thought out enemy in any of the NES games; failing the puzzle means choosing between farming energy for ten minutes or killing yourself over and over until you run out of lives. Getting stuck in that situation completely sucks the momentum out of the game, and many players give up rather than deal with it any longer.

Other quibbles! Wily’s forms have only one attack each. Mega Man’s controls are still just loose enough to occasionally throw you off of a key jump. Air Man has attacks that are actually impossible to dodge. There’s only one boss theme in the whole game. And then there’s the debatable matter of the disappearing and reappearing blocks in Heat Man’s stage and the lasers in Quick Man’s level -- whether or not those parts are fun, they’re almost definitely at least a little unfair.

Unfair or not, Quick Man’s level is still one of my favorites. The stage is a careful, rehearsed race against instant-death lasers that demands absolute perfection on behalf of the player. What I love is how this contrasts with the messy, chaotic boss fight against Quick Man, which isn’t so much about memorization as it is about reflex and instinct. Interestingly, in both cases the player has an “out”: Flash Stopper can make either the stage or the boss trivial. But it can’t be used on both, so the player has to decide which one is more threatening.

This is an example of how the robot master stages take a simple idea (in Quick Man’s case, speed) and prod at it from a number of different angles. It also showcases how the levels play off each other in neat ways, like how Flash Stopper totally changes the dynamic of the level. Some of the levels are more traditional and straightforward, while others focus on neat gimmicks. Some are brilliant and incisive like Metal Man and Wood Man, and some are only successful in spite of themselves, like Flash Man’s poorly conceived maze and Crash Man’s slightly-obnoxious vertical climb.

The levels manage to accomplish two totally disparate goals. 1) They each have their own unique and memorable identity. Later Mega Man games often had stages that just sort of blended together, and as a result the games were way less interesting. 2) They come together to create a singular emotional journey. While it’s impressive that each stage succeeds on its own merits, what’s more impressive is that they form a own cohesive narrative arc.

Let me explain. Every stage ends the same way: Mega Man triumphs over the robot master and collects a powerful new weapon, and occasionally a special item from Doctor Light.This ritual is repeated eight different times, and each time it’s clear that Mega Man is growing stronger and stronger, until finally he has defeated all eight of Wily’s Robot Masters.

There’s this idea in game design that the most important thing a game can do is make the player feel powerful. This is where the whole methodology of power-ups and experience points comes from. Start the player off with a fairly weak ability set, and then as the game progresses reward them with stronger and stronger abilities. This creates the sense that the player character is going on an actual journey, with actual trials and growth.

This is a nice concept, but it’s really only half of the equation. The player can’t just keep gaining new abilities. They also must have those abilities tested.

The Robot Master stages are ultimately about empowering Mega Man; Wily’s Fortress is about testing him. It’s a final exam on all of the abilities the player has learned throughout the game. Sometimes its obvious, like walls and pits that require understanding Dr. Light’s Items. Other times its more subtle, like the false floors in Wily 3 that can be identified with knowledge of one of Bubble Lead’s more obscure characteristics. It can even be cruel, like the Boobeam Trap demanding perfect weapon energy management while pummeling your energy meter with nigh-undodgeable attacks.

The Wily Levels are also the first stages that force the use of Dr. Light’s Items. It raises the stakes in a meaningful way; instead of playing through obstacle courses clearly designed with eventual victory in mind, parts of these levels can only be circumvented if the player uses an outside force. This contrast with the Robot Master stages creates the sense that in order to progress, the player has to break the game.

The boss fights also raise the stakes in a dramatic way. While all of the previous bosses are humanoid, roughly Mega Man’s size, and take place on solid ground, the first boss of the fortress is a gigantic fire-breathing robot dragon that’s fought on several precariously placed blocks, and they progress in increasingly strange directions from there. It’s also important to note the excision of the transition screen between the stage and the boss fight, so not only is the first appearance of the dragon also an effective jump-scare, it also further differentiates the Wily levels from the preceding Robot Master stages.

Most important of all is the music. Wily 1 is probably the most famous Mega Man song ever, and for good reason. It’s the most musically elaborate piece in the whole game. Listen to the way it establishes the core melody and then holds onto it for most of the song, often playing it in the background with one square channel while the other bounces around doing something else entirely. It’s a masterful little diddy, and there’s a reason it still gets a lot of attention.

Try contrasting that with the second tune. There’s a reason it doesn’t get nearly the same amount of love: it’s just plain unpleasant. It’s repetitive, dreary, and unbearably suspenseful. Try listening all the way through and feel the way it builds and builds and builds before finally slipping back to the starting key. It’s the chiptune equivalent of the heartbeat in Space Invaders, a song purely designed to compliment the game and raise the intensity of the experience. So while it isn’t the sort of melody you’d listen to in your car, it might be the single most effective song in the whole series.

The two songs together give the Wily Levels a subtle aesthetic arc. The player starts out empowered and ready to take on Wily, then descends deeper and deeper into the center of the fortress. It’s a little similar to the descent-into-Hell vibe established in the early Metroid games, but the linear structure actually makes it more focused and dramatic.

All of this is leading up to the immaculate climax. After the mandatory rematch against the robot masters, Mega Man comes face to face with Dr. Wily himself. The battle is nearly identical to the final battle of the first game (except with strangely less interesting attack patterns), so veteran players will expect this to be the final battle of the game. Not only that, but the map of Wily’s Fortress clearly marks this as the last stage. When Wily escapes after the defeat of his machine and the floor falls out from under Mega Man, it’s a genuinely well-executed twist.

The final stage begins with a lengthy falling sequence, and unlike in previous levels, there aren’t any spikes or other obstacles to distract the player. There’s no music whatsoever; the only sound comes from the deadly acid globules dripping from the ceiling (a set-piece borrowed in Daisuke Amaya’s Cave Story). The acid isn’t difficult to dodge, so the stage isn’t much of a challenge to move through. It’s purely in place to build suspense.

Then comes the final boss. Dr. Wily’s saucer descends, and he leaps out and starts hovering in the air (this is significant because Dr. Wily has never done battle directly with Mega Man before), and then reveals his true form: an alien! It comes out of absolutely nowhere, and it’s exactly the sort of insipid “twist” many game designers of the era would pull out of their butts for a last boss.

But then Mega Man defeats Alien Wily (with Bubble Lead of all things, leading to a tradition of last bosses best defeated with the most inconvenient weapon possible), the screen flashes, and the truth is revealed. It was all a trick, a hologram projector put into place by Dr. Wily as a last resort. If this isn’t immediately clear, the screen lingers on the projector as it moves around in the same figure-8 pattern as the boss. Dr. Wily is in the corner, desperately fiddling with the controls even though it’s clear the jig is up. Finally he gives in, falls to the ground, and begs for mercy.

If it isn’t the cleverest bit of visual storytelling I’ve ever seen in an 8-bit video game, it’s only because of the next segment. After defeating Dr. Wily, the screen shifts to an image of Mega Man as he walks in front of a black background. On the side is an image of a valley and a little town. The seasons pass, as indicated by the differing color schemes and precipitation. Finally, Mega Man stops and looks towards the town. The black background disappears and the whole village is visible. Mega Man is gone, his helmet lying on the ground in his place, pulled off and tossed to the ground as he runs towards his home.

Beautiful. There’s a couple of metaphors here, and the passing of the seasons is the most obvious. The ending shows that a lot of time has passed, and Mega Man has undergone a long journey. He’s fought through all of Wily’s forces, and all that time he’s been away from his home. John Teti notes that it’s intriguing that Mega Man walks, whereas in the rest of the game he teleports away after finishing a level. Combined with the melancholy music, the slow walk home shows that Mega Man isn’t just the player’s nameless avatar of destruction. It characterizes him in a really genuine way.

The second is a little more complex. Way back at the start of the game, we see Mega Man standing on top of a building, his hair loose and blowing in the wind. The second we press start, his helmet materializes, and Mega Man teleports off to battle. Only at the very end of the game, after we defeat Dr. Wily and lose control of Mega Man, does he finally take off the helmet.

Do you get it? We are the helmet! We take control of Mega Man when he goes into battle, but the ending lets us know that there’s a being that exists outside of stage select screens and energy meters. We don’t see this side of Mega Man, but it’s there, just outside the screen. In a small way, the ending takes this little blue Astro Boy-knockoff and turns him into a rounded character.

Mega Man 2 is not profound, not in the literary sense. The only NES game I can think of that can make that claim is the original Mother (though I’m happy to hear about any I might have missed). But that doesn’t change the fact that this this sixty-second ending is a lovely, layered scene, and the game would be unquestionably poorer for its absence.

It’s followed by credits, overlaid by a perfect reprise of the title music. Combined with the completed metaphor of the helmet, the music brings Mega Man 2 full circle. Thank you for playing. Presented by Capcom.

Mega Man 2 is a special game for a whole lot of people, and that’s because it goes out of its way to do more than put a bunch of robots on the screen for you to blow up. It is, bar-none, the most exciting, dramatic, and just plain fun story on the NES. It has tension, pacing, twists, silence, and symbols. It has an exciting climax and a meaningful resolution. And while later Mega Man games are vastly more refined mechanical experiences, none of them nail these concepts nearly as well.

Mega Man 2 knows that in order to create a game that really lasts in people’s hearts, you can’t just duct-tape a bunch of levels together and be done with it. You have to pay attention to all of the little details, like the mood created by the music in a specific area or the pacing before a climactic battle. You need to have a beginning that prepares the player to undergo a journey, and an ending that brings emotional closure. You have to tell a story.

It’s an exceptional video game. It was exceptional when it came out in 1988, and it’s exceptional now, twenty-six years later. It will likely be exceptional for many years to come.

And that’s because it pays attention to things like title screens.

Choose Your Own Adventure (Mega Man)

Hello! Boy, it's been... almost two months since we've been here, huh? I apologize. I've been wanting to get back to this for a while, but I think I needed some time off from writing in general. I still need to properly plug away at the old book, but I feel confident that I can do it. In the meantime... here's the kickoff to our big Mega Man fiesta on the Nintendo Project Resumed! If all goes as planned, this will be the only post actually written by yours truly. It is also one of the most mental things I've ever done. You'll see once your eyes dart down below. Please enjoy this esoteric nonsense about one of my favorite games in the Mega Man series. Is it unpolished and raw? Absolutely. I don't care. It has a charm. It has a charm and I adore it unabashedly, but this is hardly a review blog, now is it? Enjoy.


The Ballad Of The Blue Bomber
By FreezingInferno

So once again, we play our game of chance,
A wall of words built under Valya's dance.
The planet which now occupies our gaze?
Its gravity continues to amaze.

Now let your mind flow backwards to the past,
To years long gone; how does time flow so fast?
Our words, a time machine that always strives
To illustrate new things when we arrive.

The winter chill of '87, brave
A time now twenty-six years in the grave
Brought roaring from the white shores of Japan
A game that Capcom thus dubbed "Mega Man".

That's right, Japan, that nonexistant place
A foreign land thus blessed by Valya's grace.
The Nightmare's insecurities kept bay,
His kingdom here? The land of "kusoge".

Examine, then, the cover of the game,
And witness Capcom's steps to great acclaim
A happy bot, clad in blue and cyan
His shiny logo naming him Rockman.

Of course, this is from that great shadow land,
The place of nonexistance named Japan
Upon our shores, the box? A different beast
A sense assaulter unlike the Far East.

This box art that you now must gaze upon,
with some old fucker ripped straight out of Tron.
He's decked in blue and yellow, with a gun,
And past the neon palm trees he shall run.

Who is this blathering neon-clad yoke?
Just what the fuck is this, some kind of joke?
In later years, the masses would agree
NOSTALGIA's going to mine that man, you'll see.

For now, be unconcerned with the front cart.
It's what's inside that is a work of art.
Our toaster accepts what we put inside.
Hit power, and get ready for a ride.

No level 1 behind the title screen,
Instead is something never before seen
A stage select of levels for your choice?
A bold decision from a genius voice!

We've got a robot with a scissor head,
Then flames, and sparks? These beasts fill me with dread.
A mohawk man? A parka-wearing stooge?
What's a Guts Man? Just how am I to choose?

The six robots that you must now select,
an Ouroboros in a circle set
A freedom of choice never seen before!
To victory! Or pain forevermore!

Now here is where our histories collide.
I know the optimal path I must stride.
We'll start with Bombman's demolition hell
For he is the first dread beast I must fell.

We teleport into a deadly place,
Where metal orbs loom over our small face
The bubbly chiptune that makes us a fan?
Composed by non-existant Yuukichan.

As we begin, control we must review
Sweet Valya's petal breath remindeth you
We run, we jump with A, and then press B
To fire pellet shots, no more than three

The realm of Bombman that we have thus picked
Is filled with deadly creatures that are dicks.
Exploding shrapnel bombs from deep below,
And turrets that can shoot through walls, oh no!

Cruise missiles with a scary, angry face
Are flying at us from, like, every place!
And Sniper Joe is here, with his shield raised
His expert defense skills just must be praised.

A shutter door awaits eventually
We enter with a sort of nervous glee
We go down and await with bated breath
The Bombman fight, our duel to the death.

His leaps and jumps are bounds above our own,
His bomb's blast radius a deadly cone.
With steeled resolve we fire back, the brave
This Bombman shall not send us to our grave!

At long last, we deploy the final hit
And Bombman's clearly had enough of it
His essence dissipates across the room
We grab a thing, and hear the victory tune.

Now on to Gutsman, bulkier in frame
We enter uneven rocky terrain
A shielded Metool's all that guards the start
But what comes next sends fear into one's heart.

A hellish pulsing noise rings through our ears
A green platform? It now confirms our fears.
We ride across, and don't notice the gap
The platform dips, and then we fall. Oh, crap!

An infamous hard part, unlike before
Poor Mega Man will meet his Trenzalore.
As Peko the Destructor reaps his soul,
We try again, for we must reach the goal!

Eventually, a pattern will be learned
With perfect jumps, survival can be earned
And Peko's endless reapings now must bide
For we have made it to the other side!

Once there, we don't find much else to impede
Our travels through this level will succeed
A stamping monster tries to make us paste,
But we get by with clever smarts and haste!

Now Gutsman is a foe that we must beat,
But blasting this iron tank is no mean feat
We may have higher speed and much more pep,
But Gutsman shakes the ground with every step

Huge boulders rain down from the sky above,
And Gutsman lifts them with a power glove
He hurls the things directly at our head
We've got to win, or else we will be dead!

Old Mega, he's got one more special skill.
He gains the weapon from a boss's kill.
Now Bombman's essence fills us like a well.
Hey, Gutsman! Time to send you back to hell!

Three blasts is all that poor Gutsman can take
His battered frame now quivers with the shakes.
The explosion rings out, and now we're free!
Now take his glove and go to robot three.

Next, Cutman; see how his head scissors snap
We venture down into his deadly trap
A garish color palette awaits you
A mix of greens and browns and sky of blue.

By now you're getting quite good at this thing.
Your control mastery makes Valya sing
Through floating Suzy's relentless attack
You press onward and never once look back.

Before we know it, we've hit Cutman's lair.
The shearing robot bellows WHO GOES THERE?
He leaps and jumps and throws his headgear blade
By now, you're good, you skillfully evade!

To counter him, you slip on Gutsman's glove
Those two-ton blocks, now lighter than a dove
You hurl the chunks straight into Cutman's face
With two, he's done, and totally erased.

Elecman's stage is number four, let's see
This stage tune reminds me of "Faithfully".
A vertical climb up to dizzying heights
But first, these spiny bastards in our sights.

Too low to hit with simple pellet blasts,
They only freeze, and that just doesn't last.
With Cutman's blades, we cut them down to size.
Continue upward, climbing to the prize!

Up ladders goes our Mega Man's ascent,
Of course, the game won't easily be bent.
Electric robots, coming from above
Their voltage blasts are not a kiss of love.

Eventually, these robots are outdone.
Now at the top, we get to have some fun.
A platform that is much too high to reach
But then we hear a piercing 8-bit screech

An obstacle of infamy is due,
These Schrodinger blocks, here yet not here too.
With 8-bit bloops, they vanish into haze
Their sequence creating a platform maze.

With observation and keen intellect,
the pattern and your neurons intersect.
The skillful jumps lead higher to the top,
Where Elecman's high voltage sparks and pops.

Something of import lies along the way,
It's nestled in a corner far away
With Gutsman's glove we break apart the seams,
and collect this important Magnet Beam.

As current pours out from the very walls,
One must climb carefully, lest should they fall.
Eventually the summit's peak is reached,
Elecman's lair, a sanctuary breached.

With Cutman's shears, the battle will be quick.
Three slices and Elecman's spark is nicked.
Though do beware of that Elec Beam, too.
Three hits of that's enough to destroy you.

A quick fight done, you two evenly matched.
With Elec down, his Beam you now will catch.
Four masters down, well isn't that just nice?
Now travel to a land of snow and ice.

The winter chill is like a sudden death,
As icy winds blow savage frigid breath.
The frozen palm trees offering no shade
Your every step, a slippery escapade.

Through savage cold, you press onward to win
Even through ice-cold water you must swim
Now downward through this freezing winter crap
To once again find a familiar trap.

The Schrodinger blocks, blocking our ascent
Their pattern in our brain must leave a dent.
With Magnet Beam one can just skip this part,
How quickly upward does Mega Man dart.

And now the very platforms have a face,
They shoot regardless of height, sex or race
Atop these angry platforms we must ride,
But there's a catch before you start to glide.

The laws of physics sure can be a bitch,
and these platforms possess a deadly glitch.
The shots from them can send you falling through
You plummet down to Peko, oh so screwed.

But with the Magnet Beam, you need not fear!
You need not ride the platforms with the leer!
Just make a bridge and say no to that crap,
And walk across, avoiding Peko's gap!

And soon enough, we face the eskimo
His icy blasts will fill the air, oh no!
With Elec Beam's big blast, he's down in three.
Guess ice is weak to electricity.

The final robot master of the set,
A blazing hell quite unlike any yet.
Through Fireman's boiling hot magma cave,
We strive to put him in his robot grave.

The flames are licking at our very heels,
But Mega Man's a robot without feels.
With five great master weapons in his bod,
He is, himself, a tiny Valyan god.

Through the fire and flames, we carry on
Until the level behind us is gone.
Now Fireman is standing straight ahead,
With our Ice Slasher, we shall make him dead.

Relentless blasts of blazing flame meet ice,
A freezing inferno, isn't that nice?
Do not stop firing 'till the battle's won
And in one shot, the six robots are done.

You've done it! You've won the entire set!
However, the quest isn't over yet!
The creator emerges from his cage
His eyebrows furrowed in a madman's rage.

Now Dr. Wily is challenging you
To find his fortress and come pay your dues.
His capsule makes a piercing shrillish screech
His dread lair's just moments from being breached.

The stamping fools are guarding the outside
But Iceman's slasher will freeze them mid-stride
With hefty use of Gutsman's power glove
You bust on through and start to climb above.

Past deadly spikes and angry missiles, too
The glitchy platforms reappearing, ooh.
With Magnet Beam we get on by once more
A final obstacle to now explore.

A vertical shaft I can't climb? What's up?
Now use your Magnet Beam, you silly pup.
And if you skipped the thing by sheer unluck?
There's no advance, my darling. You're just fucked.

An unfortunate bit of game design
A rare blemish that seems rather benign
Just disregard it now, and don't look back
We now enter a room of starkish black.

The music changes to a frantic beat
THERE'S SOMETHING COMING, QUICKLY, MOVE YOUR FEET!
A yellow orb comes screaming from the left
And more are coming; this beast has some heft!

With skillful leaps and bounds, Mega evades
This creature's got big yellow orbs in spades!
Eventually the beast begins to form
And what we see is light years from the norm.

A giant yellow devil in our way
A garish golem made of sentient clay
It opens one bright red cycloptean eye,
And fires a single shot from the sky.

With that job done, the beast does separate
Its sentient blobs each larger than a crate.
A realization, as we jump and turn.
This shit is just a pattern to be learned!

One two, three four, five six seven and eight
The number of blocks that hold the most weight.
They zip towards us, lower to the ground
A jump evades, and keeps us safe and sound.

With the last jump, we get the Elec Beam.
This devil's not the dread beast that he seemed!
The eye appears, and now it fires back
We dodge and launch our own counterattack!

As lightning hits the eyeball with a pop,
Time itself seems to grind down to a stop
The current crackles as it hits the eye
What in the world is happening? Oh my!

Time starts again for just a single bit,
The eyeball taking yet another hit
Then all is frozen once again in place
Is this some portion of dear Valya's grace?

With time itself a flickering light switch,
It's curtains for that dread son of a bitch.
It dissipates, and time restarts anew.
The fuck was that? On to... Wily Stage 2?

We find ourselves on platforms way up high,
With swooping things that seem to fill the sky
With careful plotting to our jumps, we go
And run into what was a fallen foe.

Now Cut Man's back, his scissors block our path
There's no Guts blocks to counter Cutty's wrath.
It's one on one, a simple buster duel.
We've come this far; that Cut Man's such a fool.

With Cut Man well and truly cut to size,
It's more platforms and jumping for the wise.
With deft dodging of turreted assaults,
We once again find progress at a halt.

Elec Man's voltage crackles in our face.
There is no fear. This foe must be erased.
With cutting shears, three hits is all takes.
We're getting good at fighting, aren't we, mates?

So down and down through Wily 2 we go.
We're confident we can take any foe
Then realization hits us like a bus
The boss of Wily level 2 is... us.

It's Mega vs Mega in a clash
Our powers turned against us in a flash!
Now, Wily's clever plot I must applaud
But let's be real. We're taking out this fraud.

The battlefield becomes a scorching haze
Our Fire Storms create a firey blaze
The other Mega can't avoid the heat,
And within moments this fake fraud is beat.

We're on stage 3 now, way deeper inside
The heart of things, where Wily does reside.
And further yet we must make our descent
Against foes that will never unrelent.

A torrent rushes out from our rear flank
Of water foul, and grimy, slimy, dank
No turning back now, Mega. Time to move.
A third foe waits to kill you in its grooves.

A bubble bot that floats around the room
And its approach shall spell impending doom.
Our trigger finger, fastest in the east
But look out now, the bubble's speed's increased!

The key lies in those hefty little blocks
But impatience's just a quality for cocks.
Blast out a few bubbles before you heft
And easily, these bubbles will relent.

The final stage, and god this place is grim.
It's Wily's inner sanctum, grey and dim.
We run and jump and ride a Gutsman trap
And teleport away with but a snap.

The gauntlet of revenge has now arrived.
Four robot masters in a row? We'll die!
Now face them down with everything you've learned.
And show them how your competence was earned.

Bombman's bombs are set alight with flame.
Fireman's snuffed out with ice. What shame.
Iceman blows with 50,000 volts.
And Hyper Bomb turns Gutsman into bolts.

You've faced four bosses in a row to live.
For Wily, an ass kicking's what you'll give.
A mythic force that shall never relent.
Now go tell Wily how he can get bent.

His hover tank fades in onto the screen.
A dread beast unlike any ever seen.
But now you've surpassed all those other duds.
And Peko the Destructor cries for blood.

Fulfill your role as her new avatar.
Incinerate this machine from afar.
The front explodes, a burnt and charred rust heap.
And Wily utters but one muffled "eep".

He shan't give up, and fires power blasts.
They swivel and fly incredibly fast.
We're not afraid, we've got our cutting shears.
Once and for all, let's slice away our fears.

With sparking wires and shattered metal plates
Old wily's one hit from defeat. How great.
His lofty dreams of his global conquest
Are crumbled now, because we were the best.

He flies out of the wrecked ship, on his knees
And begs for mercy. GOD NO, MEGA, PLEASE!
Though Peko begs us to cut off his head,
We're not her slave. He'll go to jail instead.

And so, with Wily safely behind bars.
Old Mega runs home while beneath the stars
Not Mega anymore, but plain old Rock.
He's homeward bound, and ready to make dock.

Roll welcomes him, and here is Doctor Light
Congratulations on a job done right.
This ends the tale of Mega Man, part one
But Valya's whispers tell us we're not done.

The future glimmers on the water's edge.
Dear Wily will come back for his revenge.
Though Peko will assist us five times more,
One day she'll reap our soul to Trenzalore.

A paragon of platforming design,
A quest oft called the greatest of all time.
Then next will be quite the tough egg to crack
A rather nostalgic fond look-see back.

And then we'll hit the year of '91
The Dance Apocalyptic will be done
The Soviet's last attack on our shores
A victory will be achieved, what for?

Stagnation and creativity will slide.
And Mega will be faced with a decline
Until, about a year before the end
His final adventure with all us friends.

Then Peko reaps and Mega is no more
Unless you count the "X" that came before
An evolution with a braver, modern face
But in our confines, a forbidden place.

This is what Valya sings of Mega Man
A triumph great, with millions of loyal fans
And then in Valya's twilight he will fall
But even so, he'll smile and have a ball.

Though Mega's future is thoroughly spied,
The legend he has born will never die.
His legacy will never, ever cease.
Fight, Mega Man! For everlasting peace!

The Lull Beyond The Boundary

Hi there. It's been a while. I figured I should post for the sake of explaining why the blog has been quiet. It's a bit of a selfish reason. Oops. Remember that Dark Souls thing I posted a while back? Well, my friends wouldn't stop talking about the thing. It made me buckle down and give it another shot. What happened was just over two weeks of repeated and battered ego-death. A regeneration which lasted days, that saw me delve into the very depths of despair and pain. I screamed. I yelled. I engaged in severe bouts of self-deprecation as my friends and Dark Souls mentors urged me on. You can do it, they said. Calm yourself and you can do it. I didn't believe them. I refused to admit that I was any good at the game, lest I find myself on the other end of its ire. The dread beast Dark Souls, the ultimate hard game. A reincarnation simulator unlike any other... but I cleared it. The cost was my sanity and free time. I had no motivation TO write, because my entire mind was hardwired to Dark Souls.

Now here I am, free of that game... and with the second one looming over me atop my stack of Xbox games. I do not wish to delve myself fully into it. I wish to focus on my writing. However, I still find myself hesitant to restart the Nintendo Project. Another beast looms over the horizon, a shade beyond the boundaries of sanity. Camp Nanowrimo. I started this blog within the throes of a Camp Nanowrimo book, and the time has returned. When Nanowrimo proper came to us in November, I shelved things for a while. It was the best decision because it tempered my words. I came back, and I was inspired by things I had written and Doctor Who I had experienced. Inspired enough to create opposing gods of light and dark. The Goddess Valya, and the Nightmare. Anyone who's read a blog entry I've done between December and now knows what influence that's had here. This place has become some sort of pantheon of my own invention.

Camp Nanowrimo drops in a week, and I intend to treat it like Dark Souls and pour myself into it. I could, in theory, fire off a bunch of posts and finish off the L games... but I'm not feeling it. See, I and some family members were involved in a car accident yesterday. We are all okay and alive, thank goodness, but I don't wish to over-extert myself. So. This is what we will do. I have plans for the Mega Man games. Namely, guest posts. We are going to do what we did for Kirby's Adventure, and skip ahead to another time and place. I don't like to skip ahead in time and space and cherry-pick the significant classics, but I also don't want to delay these posts that I've asked people to do for a month. Over time, you will hopefully see those posts pop up here. Once they are done, the blog will go dark until such time as my novel is completed.

I hope you will bear with me, and I apologize to anyone who eagerly awaits my words on old Nintendo. The words will come, friends and constant readers. The lull is but temporary. Destiny awaits us, beyond the boundaries of common sense.

Freak Out In A Moonage Daydream (Little Nemo: The Dream Master)

Late at night, when the sun's rays light up some other part of the globe and the moon hangs in the sky, we dream. For eight or so hours a night, we dream. Against comfortable and warm sheets, blocking out the cold that the sun's absence brings to the earth, we dream. In order to rejuvenate our bodies and minds for whatever the day ahead might bring, we dream. In this space, suspended above an endless expanse of nebulas and galaxies, is Her. The Goddess Valya, in the form She always takes when She speaks to me. Once again, our voyage through the space and time of Nintendo has taken us to a world of dreams. When last this happened, we were pulled ahead in time to speak from the heart. The Nightmare was plaguing Dream Land, and it took a power of pure positive energy from my own heart to send it flying back into the void, screaming. We must face the Nightmare again, and face His twin beasts, Anxiety and Insecurity. We must be more thorough in our explorations this time. We have been given a divine task by the Goddess Valya herself, and one cannot refuse the call. It's 1905, in New York City. The city of my dreams. One day my footsteps shall echo throughout its massive concrete walls, but for now we stop there briefly.

We are Little Nemo, and we are slated to become a Master of Dreams.


--PART I: MUSHROOM FOREST, 1:00 AM- 2:00 AM--

Of course we had to begin with mushrooms. After all, that's where the roots of the Nintendo Project begin. With mushrooms. This video game that we are tasked with... Little Nemo: The Dream Master. It was released for the system in 1990. Just at the end of the Dance Apocalyptic, but that's not important right now. I remember 1990 only in vague snippets... but I do remember-- hm. The Goddess has taken these words out of time. Tossed them somewhere far in the future, when I will... need them to regain my sense of self? Dealing with transcendent beings from other planes is a hell of a thing... prescience and all that. As we dream of spotted mushrooms and tumble down the rabbit hole of REM sleep, let us look at Little Nemo objectively. Its past will come later. For now, we must look at the now. Now. Now we have but one weapon in our arsenal; candy. These sweet Bonbons de Valya do little against particular marauders, but they have a curious effect on certain creatures. Feeding them these sweets will let you ally with them, and power yourself further. Nemo becoming a frog, and leaping around with great height. It makes me think of that other game about frogs. A brush with death that I eventually conquered in spite of myself. Now I am master of the frog. With its power, I can complete the true aim of this place. I can collect keys. 6 keys open a door at the end of the stage. They are high and low. Eventually I must abandon my frog, and dig into the depths of the earth with a mole. Eventually, all are found, and we move on. Deeper and deeper into sleep, and closer and closer to the heart of this place. The inevitable battle with the Nightmare King approaches.

--PART II: FLOWER GARDEN, 2:00 AM- 3:00 AM--

Ah, the sweet wafting smell of memory! It fills the air as we run through these multicolored fields! Nemo finds a gorilla, and as he feeds it sweets to take a ride, my mind goes back to the true end of the Nintendo Project. Christmas 1995. The day I received my Super Nintendo. The NES had already experienced its Trenzalore by then, in the public eye. Hell, even the shiny new Super Nintendo was but a few years away from the world entering the third dimension and obliterating it. It would be two years later before the land of dreams was rendered in pastel thanks to Kirby... but that was not a song I knew back then. As we move on, we meet a new foe. The Nightmare King's flowers of memory grow here, too. A sudden gust of wind has sent his dandelion puffs scattering across the breeze. Snarling beasts without end who drift down in pursuit of us. The relentless spirit that possessed god knows how many birds and disembodied heads of Greek monsters, reborn as part of a fucking flower. This is absurd, and yet deadly. Continuing on, we find a bee and ally with him. Again my mind goes back. Me and a friend of mine, as children. He points to a nearby field of sunflowers and calls them "bumblebee heaven". He then points to a large bed of thorns, and calls it "bumblebee hell". This bee can fly for a bit, and fire stingers without question at the damned puffs. Look, there's water! And tadpoles! Another memory. A school field trip to catch tadpoles. Many have their parents there, but my mother is at work. She shows up anyway, taking me by surprise. I give her a hug and am happy to see her. With these sweet smells in the air, I must move on. It does no good to dwell, and so much more must be done.

--PART III: HOUSE OF TOYS, 3:00 AM- 4:00 AM--

Little Nemo is not an easy video game. This becomes immutable, solid fact on its third stage. The legendary Battletoads would do something similar, but Little Nemo is not a product of true despair like that. Still, though. The House of Toys is tough. There are no animals to ally with. Your candy does nothing. All you can do is ride a train and attempt to dodge the assault coming at you. Divebombing toy airplanes. Hot air balloons. Deadly sentient flying squirrels. SQUIRRELS, for Christ's sakes! My toys were never such assholes to each other! Oh, I had plenty that I was prideful of. Most involved those paragons of the mid-1990s, the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. Isn't it tragic, then, that they never graced the NES? I mean, where else will I get to talk about them? Oh, I had lots of those toys. The memory here in the world of dreams makes me recall them all. Hell, still on a shelf somewhere, filled with pennies, is a bust of the Green Ranger. My pride, though, was the Megazord. That towering mammoth who took several batteries and was remote controlled. It rolled forward, ready to lay waste to any who opposed it, beeping out primitive sound effects. A toy warrior of Valya if there ever was one. Like the Power Rangers of old, the House of Toys beat me around a little bit. I survived. The day was saved. One can move ahead, and put their toys away for now. Really, though, one never puts their toys away for good. That Megazord might still be in the attic. I don't know. I'd like to find him again.

--PART IV: NIGHT SEA, 4:00 AM- 5:00 AM--

Upon Night's Plutonian Shore, we delve into the salty waters of the ocean. Waters that define my heritage. The sea has been a constant companion for all of my life. All memories of the place I grew up in have the sea as their backdrop. A vast, endless expanse of water that I have sailed upon many a time. Ah, yes. The dream and the video game coalesce to form their very own sea; a sea of memory. I remember the ocean, of course. I remember being a child, in my uncle's boat, riding very fast across the waves. I remember the time an old restored sailing vessel arrived in port, and it was a grand festivity of a time gone by. I remember the Taverner, the large coastal boat which ferried me across the sea many a time. I also remember crossing the great expanse of sea to escape this island in the year 1999, on a colossal coastal ferry. Gigantic, this thing was. Hundreds of cars parked inside, and that was only the parking garage. Several decks, and god knows what else inside. I know there was an arcade on board, because I was on it in 1994. I played X-Men. People helped. I think. Most of all, I remember our current coastal boat. The Northern Seal. Twice a year I take a little trip to see my grandparents. Once a year, I make sure to return on the coastal boat. I have captured parts of this on video many times, but I will defer to another video of it. This man's has much less talking from me, and lets you focus on the scenery. Unfortunately, like the limitations of an 8-bit grey box, the video cannot adequately simulate the feel of being on that boat. You can see the tiny fishing hamlets, the water, hear the boat and its passengers... but you miss out on other senses. The chill of the air, and the smell of the sea. The feeling of wind against your skin as you stand on the bow, looking out as the land ahead of you zips by. That bouncing feeling as the ship moves up, down, up, down. These are the senses I live for, my own meditations to the Goddess Valya. I have a mariner's blood flowing through me, and even 8-bit levels where you swim in the sea make me come back to these thoughts. Enough of that. This ship is only halfway to its destination.

--PART V: NEMO'S HOUSE, 5:00 AM- 6:00 AM--

I feel diminished. This space, the familiar place... has become dimensionally transcendent. It is now bigger on the inside, and more vast than previously imagined. Well, isn't that appropriate. Music wafting through the air as I build a labyrinth of words. Ba da ba ba. Do I need to wax nostalgic about the house? The tiny little room that kept me sane, my own little sanctuary? The basement, both a thing of dread and wonder? Wonder because it was where Nintendo was, and Nintendo was a dimensionally transcendent being too. I could shoot ducks. I could kick men in the bayou. I could be a Ninja Turtle, a super plumber, a Mega Man. We've already discussed the alchemic properties of these little grey boxes. An electronic world just waiting to be released, yet confined within a television screen. The basement was also where my sister's room was, and she had a collection of Stephen King novels. The covers and the blurbs on the back terrified my young mind... to say nothing of the glimpses of the films. She was a member of the Columbia House Stephen King Movie Of The Month club. Every month, a new terrifying VHS. The Shining. It. Creepshow. Oddly enough, ten years later... I became a fan of Stephen King. I delved into the worlds of words he had crafted, and enjoyed every bit. Of course, the terror can be tied to video games... even beyond my own house. My group of friends liked scary films and they liked to scare me. As we approach the Nightmare King, my memories are becoming... darker. It's 1994. I'm in my friend's living room with a bunch of people. They are watching a Stephen King film; Pet Sematary. A bleak, dismal, horrifying film about death. The simple inevitability of death. A world of words built so perfectly by the Nightmare King that the author himself attempted to lock it in a drawer to contain it. It escaped, and its terror poured out of the television screen. To combat it, I attempted to counter with my own screen; a Game Boy and Donkey Kong. The battle between light and dark, contained to screens like Patrick Troughton in 1960's era Doctor Who. Quaint.

--PART VI: CLOUD RUINS, 6:00 AM- 7:00 AM--

In these hallowed ruins above the city of dreams, we must look at history. Not mine, but Little Nemo's. A comic strip by a man named Winsor McCay, produced at the turn of the 20th century. A time when none of us were alive, but Ye Olde Goddess Valya still lit the lamps of humanity's hearts. Did her sweet song give McCay his inspiration? Did he feel her cool breath in his ear as his hands grasped the pen, crafting art with every stroke? Who can say for sure? We may never know just what dreams McCay dreamt... but the evidence remains floating around for all to see. His comics, preserved forever thanks to the online conduit that sails my words to you. For whatever reason, these comics inspired an animated film in 1989. Does this, then, make Little Nemo a licensed game? It almost certainly does. By the good graces of our goddess, the Nightmare is kept as an enemy instead of a constant oppressive menace. Capcom is to thank for this. Now and again, they knew how to hire a team of people who knew what they were doing. Were the coders blessed by Valya's song, as well? A muse of inspiration, that one. Sometimes I type these poignant, abstract meandering thoughts and I have no idea where they came from within my brain. That, then, is the Goddess Valya, may she be praised. This is history, via an electronic video game. A thing that would baffle Winsor McCay if he ever saw it. Like his comics, the video game's alchemy preserves the imagination he was graced with forever. His legacy lives on. We salute you, Mr. McCay... and we move ever onward. Dawn is rising, but darkness is very near now.

--PART VII: TOPSY-TURVY, 7:00 AM- 8:00 AM--

Things have gone out of control. What should have been a simple ode to a good game has spiralled into an epic. 2300 words make up this world so far. More have yet to come. The Goddess Valya grants me many things, but brevity is not one of them. Instead, she grants me a difficult stage with lots of animal allying and keys hidden in tricky places. As said before, Little Nemo is not messing around. Once this level is cleared, our purpose is known. The King of this dream world has been captured by the Nightmare King, our nemesis. Our every waking moment is haunted by him and his two generals. This, then, is the task the Goddess Valya grants me. In the name of Valya, I must learn to fend for myself. I must face down my demons. I am given the power to do so. Another rod of the Dreaming, charged with the pure essence of Valya. I am told that its power comes from the same thing that has fueled my travels in this place; from memory. I don't understand it, but one has to trust what they believe in... and I believe in the Goddess Valya. I believe in Her, and place my fate in her hands. It is time to venture into the realm of my nightmares. The deep parts of the Sub-Con where he lurks, his vile presence spreading and multiplying until it can take over my entire mind. Until it can render me helpless, a shaking and quivering being who cannot function as a member of society. Not today. Not this night. This night... we fight.

--PART VIII: NIGHTMARE LAND, 8:00 AM- 8:20 AM--

This is a damned land. The scenery pulsates with violet energy, the dark spread of Nightmare beating like the ten hearts of the dread beast GREED. Jets of flame burst from the ground itself. Spikes jut out from every angle possible. This is a damned land. This Nightmare Land twists the rules. Three is now the number of our fate. Three distinct lands for us to survive... and failure at any point will set us back at the beginning. The Nightmare intends to trap us in a closed loop, a never-ending cycle of pure despair, always letting us get far enough to feel a glimmer of hope before taking it away. The first leg of our journey takes us through the heart of the flames on the back of a lizard, and then we reach a dead end. Descending from the sky like a slippery satanic serpent is our foe. A general of the Nightmare King's army, the dread beast ANXIETY, in the form of a Penguin King. Its black soulless eyes stare us down, and its beak opens as it lets out a squawk. I know what that squawk means. That squawk pierces through my sense of self, resonating with the nightmarish parts of me.

You like how that feels, you little shit? That feeling of being sick to your stomach? Those shakes? Being on the verge of tears over this? You should be! It's all your fault, anyway! You brought this upon yourself! All of this is your doing, and now you're getting what you deserve! You deserve to feel this way, to think these things! You're one screw-up away from everything you love crumbling to dust. How does it feel, you bastard? How does it FEEEEEEEEEEEEL?

No. No, I can't feel like this. Not now. Not like this. I need to take the rod of the dreaming in hand. I need to take control of my own mental state. I need to grasp something. Anything. Holding the rod in front of me as this dread beast squawks its horrible truths about myself for all to hear, I take inner focus. I let the power of Valya guide me. In this meditative state an orb of light, powerful and white, appears in the rod's crystal. A sweet voice, serene and true, rings out to combat this nightmare's squawking.

"I just think you're a super swell and awesome guy. You give me someone I can trust with anything and everything which is why I can come to you and chat with you about super important secret stuff and I know I won't be judged for it. You know how to make me smile, you always offer comforting words and solutions when I'm down and I just... I love you as a friend, as a person, and as someone I consider to be family. So thank you."


I know this voice. Someone who trusts me. Someone who cares. I remember what defeated the Nightmare before, out of time and space. They cared. They care, you miserable blight, and that knowledge is what will send you screaming back to whatever hole you crawled out of. The light flies forth, a magic missile of Valyan energy, and our dread beast squawks again. Not with its taunting tone, but with pain. Real pain. More blasts are fired at it, and eventually the dread beast ANXIETY is vanquished... for now. We still have much to do. A more frightening dread beast awaits.



--PART IX: NIGHTMARE LAND II, 8:20 AM- 8:40 AM--

Oh, now this is hell if there ever was such a place in the land of nightmares. A vertical climb along pulsating purple platforms, while fire spouts from every wall and platform possible. All of this, and the deadly dandelion puffs of the Nightmare flower, constantly pursuing us. We can take very little punishment, and the Nightmare's scheme to trap me in a recursive loop almost works. Then I remember my own advice. Leap the flames and move quickly. My past self, from a time before the sweet whispers of the Goddess Valya, assisting me. I have surpassed that, but now comes a spike ceiling, constantly rising and falling. The breaths of the Nightmare King guide it, but I can continue on. Duck and run. Run and duck. A dance of caution and speed, ever needed when traversing a nightmare land. Another arena, and another beast swooping down from the darkened skies. The dreaded beast, INSECURITY, a flat-eyed manta ray with flame breath. It zips around at high speed, the sonic booms left in its wake confusing me. As it moves, I hear the hissing sound of its laughter. I know what's coming... but I never quite can prepare for it.

It's all useless, you know. They have little tolerance for you. You are not a friend. You are a tolerance. A tolerance and an annoyance. The first chance they get, they will drop you. They will ignore you like the annoying piece of shit you are. You know it to be true! You can't even call this paranoia, or useless worry. I have facts on my side. You know who abandoned you in the past. Abandoned your worthless ass. They're all going to do that to you. Why? Because you're a fuck-up. You're going to fuck it all up and make them mad at you. Then they will get rid of you, and you deserve it all. You make me sick.

For a moment I believe it. For a moment, the light of Valya grows dark. Have I really lost the faith? Can I really trust these people to not hurt me? The manta ray's swoops knock me to my feet. One hit point left. Last life. The Nightmare's scheme has almost succeeded... and then, a surge of energy. The crystal of the rod of the dreaming shines, a perfect peridot... and as it fills with the energy of my hopes and dreams, another voice strikes back against the hissing screeches of my INSECURITY.

"For a long while I've been struggling with various art blocks and disappointment in myself. All of my motivation had been brought to a screeching halt by fear of failure. But as I followed along and watched you write your books, I felt very inspired and lifted. You never seem to worry about making mistakes in your craft and you just...Do it. You just work. As a person who lives to overthink, it confounded me and made me feel like I could do the same. As we started to talk more and more, I learned that you weren't only an admirable artist, but a great friend. Always around and always ready to help in any way possible. It means a lot to me to have someone I can feel comfortable talking about my failures and disappointments and not feel like I'll be called out for sulking or throwing a pity party. Things happen, and you get that. Thank you for being an artist I can admire, and a friend that I can lean on."

Of course. Who else could it be but you? That voice, cutting through insecurity's hiss, strikes the manta ray between the eyes. It continues to speak, and I listen intently. This is proof positive that my insecurity is full of shit. Proof positive that the people I care about are caring right back. Proof positive that this entire journey of words has been worth it. That voice's world matters just a little more, because she knew my words. That realization is enough to blast the manta ray into negative dust. ANXIETY and INSECURITY are gone for now. Only one thing left. The end of this quest.

--PART X: NIGHTMARE LAND III, 8:40 AM- 9:00 AM--

A frozen wasteland of black ice. With the help of animal allies, I scale the icy wall and run through a gauntlet of flame. Then I see Him. The Nightmare King, leering on. The very sight of my nemesis fills me with just a little dread, but I must press on. Little Nemo must be brave. In this space, the Nightmare's cycle all but thwarted, Valya's grace allows for mercy. Extra lives. Health. Even Nightmares are weakened in the face of positivity. I have made the Nightmare King a shadow of his former self. The limitations of this transcendental space work to my advantage. At the end of the day, it's just a dream. It's just a video game. The Nightmare King is contained to a big purple sprite. I bet all he can do is shoot lasers. Were he truly his real self, he could but point and make me a traumatic weeping mess. Here, I have an advantage.

Our battle begins. Little Nemo vs. the Nightmare King. There is no hesitation this time. He speaks unspeakable things. Unspeakable fears. Already they are drowned out by the voices from before... and new voices join them. Voices of pure positivity. Friends and allies alike, united to form a symphony of saving grace. They strike the Nightmare King head on, burning away his visage of negative energy. This is the power of Valya. Pure positive emotion. Picture, if you will, every happy thought you've ever had. Every nice word ever spoken to you by a friend. Every warm embrace, sweet kiss, thoughtful touch. Picture all of that, encompassed in 8-bit form by a ball of light. That, my friends and readers, is Valya. Valya should not be used as a crutch. The power of Valya must resonate with your own heart. You must do your best to be strong enough to face your nightmares... but you don't have to do it alone. Not as long as you remember the kindness others have shown you. The power of Valya. With one final blast of light, the Nightmare King is no more. Nemo can return to the land of the wakeful, no longer a dreamer but now a Dream Master. This mission has been completed.

--EPILOGUE: AWAKE, 9:01 AM--

Oh. I'm up. That was one hell of a sleep. Huh? Little Nemo on NES? It's a pretty damn good game. You throw candies at animals and ride them and like... use their powers to get keys or something. And it's a Capcom game, so you know it's top notch. Boundless imagination or something, I don't know. It's good. Go play it. Huh? Why am I smiling?

Haven't the foggiest idea. Probably because I've got it good. Now, please. Out of my way. I need to get breakfast.